1 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,615 A one, two, three... 2 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:40,911 Da, da, ba, da, da, ba, du-wa 3 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,832 Oh, oh, oooh... 4 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:49,503 If Santa passes by my stocking 5 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:53,257 I promise not to mind a lot 6 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:57,720 The only thing I want for Christmas 7 00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:02,308 Is just to keep the things that I've got 8 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:06,854 A pair of loving arms around me 9 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,190 A garden of forget-me-nots 10 00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,066 Forget-me-nots 11 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:14,361 The only thing I want for Christmas 12 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:19,408 All I want for Christmas 13 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:25,539 Is just to keep the things that I've... 14 00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:27,124 Go-o-o-ot... 15 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:34,215 Things that I've go-o-o-ot 16 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,973 Oh me, oh my 17 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,309 It's do or die, I've gotta learn that auction cry 18 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,437 Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer 19 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,358 25 dollar bid and then a 30 dollar, 30 20 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:55,069 Will ya gimme 30, make it 30, bid a whack a 30 dollar 21 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,237 Will ya gimme 30 22 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,530 Who will-a give me 30 dollar bid? 23 00:03:58,614 --> 00:03:59,740 30 dollar bid 24 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,867 Got a 30 dollar bid and then a 35 25 00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:04,870 Will ya gimme 35 to make it 35, will ya 35 26 00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:08,415 Will ya gimme 5, a 35 dollar bid? 27 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,752 35 dollar bid and then a 40 dollar, 40 28 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:14,380 Will ya gimme 40, make a 40 bid for a 40 dollar 29 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,464 Will ya gimme 40 30 00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:18,926 Who will-a gimme 40 dollar bid? 31 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:20,803 Got a 40 dollar bid and then a 45 32 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,846 Will ya gimme 45 to make it 45 33 00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,056 Will ya gimme 5? 34 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,392 Sold that hog for a 45 dollar bid... 35 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,770 Now, from the boy who went to school 36 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,522 There grew a man who played it cool-- 37 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,286 You, uh... You ever been on a motorbike? 38 00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,705 Oh, uh, nah. 39 00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,082 Never been with a biker then? 40 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,001 Me? A biker? No. 41 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,463 - Have you? - No, I haven't, no. 42 00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,383 It's not my cup of tea. 43 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,599 So, uh, does your mum set you up with lots of guys? 44 00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,561 Uh, no, actually, you're the first. 45 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,564 Lucky me. 46 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,991 I need to piss. Coming? 47 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,036 Joking. 48 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:34,418 Uh, one more and then... let's make a move. 49 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,670 Great. 50 00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,970 - Sorry. Sorry, lads. - Chop, chop. 51 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,956 - Who's next? - Hi. 52 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,708 - Um... - What crisps do you have? 53 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,381 Ready salted. Salt and vinegar. Prawn cocktail. 54 00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,216 I'll have one of each. 55 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:23,926 £4.80. 56 00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,783 - Here you go. - That's it, then, yeah. 57 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,204 - Nice, okay. - Okay. 58 00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,289 One more? 59 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,249 Yes. 60 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,129 - Hello? - Hiya. 61 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,976 How was it, Col? 62 00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,312 You had a nice time? 63 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,689 Yeah. Yeah. 64 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,444 Nice chap, isn't he? 65 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,740 All right. Night, darling. 66 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,202 Stockings at 8:00, okay? 67 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,498 What have you won? 68 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:18,749 - Amazing, Mum! - Are they? 69 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:22,002 Hark the herald angels sing 70 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,465 I want some figgy pudding I want some figgy pudding 71 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:27,549 You all right, Bax? 72 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,218 Baxy, are you okay sweetheart? 73 00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:30,302 You all right there, love? Yeah? 74 00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,386 You haven't done your cracker? 75 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,471 You got your dinner? 76 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,597 Here, give us your cracker. 77 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,723 Look, Nanny's brought you a tray of dinner. 78 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,601 That's it, open that... 79 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,852 Here, Dad, do the cracker with her. Come on. 80 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,062 Did you get some play dough? 81 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,105 You wanna do it, yeah? Oh, right. Here y'are. 82 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:45,943 What's his name? 83 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:47,653 Um... 84 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,323 - We didn't really, uh... - You don't know his name? 85 00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:52,908 I... I didn't ask, Don. 86 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,284 I can wait nearby, if you want? 87 00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,536 No, it's fine. It's okay. 88 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:57,621 Take the dog. 89 00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:58,705 It's not clean. 90 00:08:58,789 --> 00:08:59,957 I... I don't wanna take the dog. 91 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,709 What normal person asks someone for a date 92 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:03,794 on Christmas Day? 93 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,128 Well, maybe he's alone. 94 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,713 Yeah, maybe he's lonely. 95 00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:09,007 Maybe I'll get my head bashed in or something. I don't know. 96 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,176 Nonsense. Ignore your brother. 97 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:12,344 It's an adventure. 98 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,638 Since when did Colin like adventures? 99 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,391 Well, I think a biker sounds exciting. 100 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,644 You can borrow your dad's leather jacket. 101 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,907 Silent night 102 00:09:33,991 --> 00:09:36,785 - Holy... - Holy night 103 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:40,789 All is calm 104 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:45,002 All is bright 105 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,838 Round yon virgin 106 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,716 Mother and child 107 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:58,890 Holy infant so tender and mild 108 00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:02,060 Sleep in heavenly... 109 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,689 ...peace 110 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:12,154 Sleep in heavenly peace 111 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,165 Beautiful. Beautiful. 112 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:38,722 Erm... 113 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,053 Oh, bugger! 114 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,137 Leave it. 115 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,640 Just... leave it? 116 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:26,353 Ooh. 117 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,780 What am I gonna do with you? 118 00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,999 Whatever you want... really. 119 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,376 Hold up your hands. 120 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,255 Other way. 121 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,596 Oh! I know this one, actually. 122 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,640 So, uh, ready? 123 00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,062 Oh, yeah. 124 00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,025 Yeah. Wow, you're strong! 125 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,157 Do you give? 126 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,992 Do you what... excuse-- 127 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,952 Do you give? 128 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:25,912 Yes! Yes! 129 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,424 Sorry. 130 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,344 Down. 131 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,428 Um... 132 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,430 Down? 133 00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,515 Lick. 134 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,227 Huh... 135 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,278 Like that, then? 136 00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:52,833 Huh. 137 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,961 Huh-huh-huh-huh. Mm... 138 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,067 All right. 139 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,749 All right. 140 00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,047 Yeah. 141 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,508 Ray. 142 00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:28,720 Colin. 143 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:42,359 So, if you, um, don't mind a little walk, 144 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:45,528 I saw a pub on my way here that's open 'til midnight. 145 00:15:46,905 --> 00:15:47,906 I've gotta go. 146 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:50,742 Hey, girl. 147 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,244 Yeah, of course. 148 00:15:55,497 --> 00:15:56,498 Of course you do. 149 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,500 Um... 150 00:16:03,505 --> 00:16:05,340 I'm... I... 151 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,300 Sorry I was a bit... 152 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,971 I was a bit hopeless earlier. 153 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,765 I guess like most things in life, 154 00:16:13,848 --> 00:16:15,558 it just takes a bit of practice. 155 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:17,936 Yeah. 156 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:20,689 Maybe, um... 157 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,485 I could practice with you? 158 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:28,446 Um... 159 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,575 I'm not around much, so... 160 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,287 Yeah. 161 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:38,999 All right then, Colin. 162 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,167 Merry Christmas. 163 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:47,716 Uh, thank you! 164 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,610 Hello. 165 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,237 He lives! 166 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,363 Yeah, just about. 167 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:14,325 I told you that cold air would turn your throat inside out. 168 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,537 You have a nice time? 169 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,042 Nice chap? 170 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,585 - Mmm. Yeah. - Hmm? 171 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:24,753 Did you get yourself a boyfriend? 172 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:25,962 Oh, no. Don't think so, Mum. 173 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:27,964 I... don't think he liked me that much. 174 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,549 Of course he did. 175 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,680 Did you kiss? 176 00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,348 I don't think that is any of your business. 177 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,309 - So... - Well, fair enough. 178 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,228 - Hmm. - Right. 179 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:44,981 - One more chocolate? - Mmm. 180 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:09,714 Wanker. 181 00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:18,306 Have you got plans tonight? 182 00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:19,390 Nothing. 183 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,727 Any news from that biker chap of yours? 184 00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,687 He's not my biker, Mum. 185 00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,900 Anything I can do to help? 186 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,207 Ten, nine, eight... 187 00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:47,252 seven, six, five... 188 00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:51,131 four, three, two, one! 189 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:54,676 Happy New Year! 190 00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:22,537 No, no, no! 191 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:24,414 I'm sorry, I'm just following orders, ma'am. 192 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,000 Excuse me? 193 00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:29,169 Excuse me? 194 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,921 Hold on. 195 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,007 Do you sleep well at night? 196 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,010 Sorry, do I... do I sleep well at night? 197 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,303 Yeah. 198 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,429 I'm just following orders, ma'am. 199 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,555 Following orders? 200 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,639 If you wanna appeal, there's a... 201 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:42,724 Oh, I don't wanna appeal. 202 00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,767 Come on, just take your fucking ticket off! 203 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:50,356 Um... 204 00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:52,859 Hello? 205 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,237 - Yeah, I'm at work. - Excuse me? 206 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,322 Um... 207 00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:58,406 Excuse me, we're not done here. 208 00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,450 Well, if I leave early, yeah, if... If I leave now. 209 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:01,659 You're not going anywhere! 210 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,120 All right, I'll text you the address. 211 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,288 Are you deaf? 212 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:07,457 Uh, yeah. Um, I shouldn't be long, so... 213 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,500 Fuck you, ya fucking prick! 214 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:11,502 - Lovely. - Go on, fuck off! 215 00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,421 Yeah, okay. All right. See you in a bit. 216 00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:18,760 Yeah. 217 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,806 - Col? - Yeah? 218 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,058 What about these? 219 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,644 He doesn't need a present, Mum. 220 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,563 Soap. Some nice soap. 221 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:32,232 Gosh. 222 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,484 - Pete? - Um... 223 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:37,820 Pete, have you taken that nice soap? 224 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:39,322 - What? - Have you taken 225 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,823 the nice soap? 226 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,078 All right. 227 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:52,543 Gosh, you're tall. 228 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,170 Uh, sorry, Peggy. 229 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,755 Uh, uh, Peggy, Peter. 230 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,924 - Um, nice to meet you. - Ray. 231 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,842 - How d'you do? - Um... 232 00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,177 Time for a quick drink? 233 00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,263 Uh, no, thank you. Not when I'm riding. 234 00:21:03,346 --> 00:21:04,931 No, of course not. Oh. What was I thinking? 235 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:09,185 Oh... Uh, good lad, yeah. Well, well, something soft? 236 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:10,728 We'd better get going. 237 00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:13,231 - Yeah. - You, uh, you don't sound 238 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,316 local, Ray. Where's home? 239 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:16,943 Chislehurst. 240 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,361 Chislehurst... 241 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,696 Well, it's very nice. 242 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:23,032 Now, I've never thought of Colin as a Chislehurst sort of person. 243 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:25,201 Yeah, he'll survive. 244 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,747 All right. Come on then, Colin. 245 00:21:29,831 --> 00:21:30,999 All right. Just... 246 00:21:31,082 --> 00:21:32,083 Oh, right, yeah... 247 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,128 Oh, uh, Ray! Ray, sorry to fuss, 248 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,130 but, uh, you do have a spare helmet, yes? 249 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:38,798 - Yes. - Only, he actually has 250 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,008 - to wear it. - Dad... 251 00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:42,593 Because he... he's not getting on without one. 252 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,637 He is not getting on without one. 253 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:45,722 Great. 254 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,392 Nice bike. 255 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,476 Plain black. 256 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,228 None of this neon crap like you see 257 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:53,521 everywhere nowadays, don't you? 258 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,940 Colin. 259 00:21:56,024 --> 00:21:57,525 Yep, um... 260 00:21:58,151 --> 00:21:59,527 Yeah. 261 00:22:00,611 --> 00:22:01,863 You sure you know what you're doing? 262 00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,448 Yeah. Don't worry, Dad. 263 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,283 I'm... I'm not worried. 264 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:07,910 I rode a bike when I met Colin's mum. 265 00:22:09,287 --> 00:22:11,789 Sold it when the twins come along. 266 00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:14,625 Bought a very expensive pram. 267 00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:17,086 But I don't suppose you two need to worry about that. 268 00:22:20,131 --> 00:22:21,174 Not... 269 00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,800 I mean, not yet anyway. 270 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:26,346 Oh! 271 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,394 All right then, be good! Right? 272 00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:35,271 - Have fun! - Watch out for the ice! 273 00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:26,697 I think this jacket might be a bit crap. 274 00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:28,866 But, uh... 275 00:23:29,867 --> 00:23:31,536 Hey... Hey, girl. 276 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:34,247 - Hey. - Oh, hello, Rosie. 277 00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,040 You remember me? 278 00:23:37,750 --> 00:23:38,835 Thank you. 279 00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:41,045 Shut the door. 280 00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:42,630 One second. 281 00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:00,940 It's a lovely flat. 282 00:24:41,689 --> 00:24:43,608 I didn't think you'd have a piano. 283 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:45,318 - No? - No. 284 00:24:45,401 --> 00:24:46,694 Don't seem like the sort. 285 00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:48,529 So, what "sort" do I seem like? 286 00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:53,743 Oh, no. No, no. I... I meant it as a compliment, you know. 287 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,161 Why don't I show you where everything is, 288 00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:56,537 and then you can make dinner. 289 00:24:57,205 --> 00:24:58,206 Dinner? 290 00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:00,583 Dinner. 291 00:25:03,836 --> 00:25:05,338 I, um... 292 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:08,424 I should say that I'm a... I'm a bit of a lousy cook. 293 00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:10,801 But, um, you know, I can give it a go. 294 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:14,639 Have you lived here long then, Ray? 295 00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:16,307 Pots and pans down there. 296 00:25:18,351 --> 00:25:20,228 And, uh... yeah. 297 00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:23,231 Something quick tonight. 298 00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:25,358 Pasta. 299 00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:29,362 Go easy on the cheese. 300 00:25:41,999 --> 00:25:43,000 Here we go. 301 00:25:43,918 --> 00:25:44,919 We eating here or... 302 00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:46,003 Yeah, here's good. 303 00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:49,257 Right. 304 00:25:56,597 --> 00:25:58,516 Come. 305 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,603 Down, down. 306 00:26:02,687 --> 00:26:04,397 It's not for you. 307 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,481 Good girl. 308 00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:09,360 Aww. 309 00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:37,263 Right, come on. 310 00:26:41,309 --> 00:26:42,310 Time for bed. 311 00:27:12,923 --> 00:27:13,924 You a snorer? 312 00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:16,218 Sorry? 313 00:27:17,762 --> 00:27:18,846 Do you snore? 314 00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:21,932 Oh, no. No, no, no. Not... not that I know of. 315 00:27:27,355 --> 00:27:28,898 - How's your bladder? - My... 316 00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:33,986 My... my bladder? 317 00:27:35,363 --> 00:27:36,697 Are you gonna wake me up running to the bathroom 318 00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:37,782 in the middle of the night? 319 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,410 Uh... Oh, I see. No. No. 320 00:27:42,370 --> 00:27:45,373 I think my, um, bladder's pretty good, actually. 321 00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:48,292 Well, if you're quiet, you can sleep on the rug. 322 00:27:48,959 --> 00:27:50,252 The rug? 323 00:27:50,336 --> 00:27:51,420 If not, you should go in the hallway. 324 00:30:06,180 --> 00:30:08,516 Sorry if this is not to your liking. 325 00:30:10,267 --> 00:30:11,268 I'm no barista. 326 00:30:22,863 --> 00:30:23,864 Do I pass then? 327 00:30:30,621 --> 00:30:32,873 What do I... get if I pass? 328 00:30:58,232 --> 00:31:00,901 "Children, behave" 329 00:31:01,819 --> 00:31:04,488 That's what they say when we're together 330 00:31:05,239 --> 00:31:08,784 "And watch how you play" 331 00:31:08,868 --> 00:31:11,912 They don't understand and so we're 332 00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:13,706 Yes, you can do it! 333 00:31:15,749 --> 00:31:17,001 - Do you give? - No! 334 00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:18,210 Give! 335 00:31:18,294 --> 00:31:19,503 No! 336 00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:04,381 - Give? - I give! Give! 337 00:32:04,465 --> 00:32:06,717 - Come on! - I give! 338 00:32:09,637 --> 00:32:10,596 Don't move. 339 00:32:23,817 --> 00:32:24,777 On your front. 340 00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:44,249 I'm sorry about that. 341 00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,169 I didn't think it was gonna hurt so much. 342 00:34:49,630 --> 00:34:51,799 Um, shall I finish you off? 343 00:34:53,842 --> 00:34:54,843 Nah, I'm good. 344 00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:16,949 Oh... Um... 345 00:35:17,783 --> 00:35:18,784 Thanks for having me. 346 00:35:20,786 --> 00:35:21,912 I had a lovely time. 347 00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:26,959 Here we are. 348 00:35:35,092 --> 00:35:36,426 All right then, I'll be off. 349 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:40,889 Don't come back before 6:00. 350 00:35:43,225 --> 00:35:44,935 If you do, you'll have to wait outside. 351 00:35:46,645 --> 00:35:48,897 Um... Uh... 352 00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:52,609 What, 6:00 today? 353 00:35:52,693 --> 00:35:55,404 Oh. Sorry, are you busy tonight? 354 00:35:56,113 --> 00:35:57,156 Is there a booming market 355 00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,824 for Colin Smiths that I'm not aware of? 356 00:35:59,783 --> 00:36:02,286 Well, no, but it's just... 357 00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:03,996 What? 358 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,080 Yeah, um... 359 00:36:05,747 --> 00:36:06,915 See you at 6:00. 360 00:36:08,292 --> 00:36:10,169 I need you to pick up some things. 361 00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:12,754 Here. 362 00:36:12,838 --> 00:36:14,381 I'll text you a shopping list. 363 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:15,799 Yeah, okay. Yep. 364 00:36:17,759 --> 00:36:18,760 You can keep these. 365 00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:20,137 I don't eat chocolate. 366 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,346 Well, no. 367 00:36:21,430 --> 00:36:22,681 Of course you don't. I mean... 368 00:36:23,307 --> 00:36:24,474 And buy yourself a butt plug. 369 00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:26,476 You're too tight. 370 00:36:27,394 --> 00:36:28,562 Yeah! 371 00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:29,897 Yeah, yeah. Um... 372 00:36:31,148 --> 00:36:32,983 Lovely, that sounds like a plan. 373 00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:39,323 Bye, then. 374 00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:48,248 Um-- 375 00:37:22,532 --> 00:37:24,284 - Here. - Thank you. 376 00:38:14,293 --> 00:38:15,294 - That's him? - Yeah. 377 00:38:16,878 --> 00:38:18,130 That's your boyfriend? 378 00:38:18,213 --> 00:38:19,756 Well, no, he's not my boyfriend. 379 00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:22,759 We, uh, we have an arrangement. 380 00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:25,470 How'd you get a man like that? 381 00:38:27,431 --> 00:38:31,310 Well, he says that I have an aptitude for devotion. 382 00:38:37,190 --> 00:38:38,442 I'll see you tomorrow! 383 00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:04,176 You're a good, good, good girl. 384 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:05,218 Try these on. 385 00:39:08,138 --> 00:39:09,139 Try what on? 386 00:39:27,449 --> 00:39:28,450 Ray? 387 00:39:46,802 --> 00:39:48,387 - What's this, then? - It's, uh... 388 00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:50,514 Oh. Good luck with that. 389 00:39:52,641 --> 00:39:53,850 Do you like it? 390 00:40:10,951 --> 00:40:13,120 Happy birthday to you 391 00:40:14,162 --> 00:40:17,290 Happy birthday to you 392 00:40:20,001 --> 00:40:24,423 Happy birthday, dear Colin 393 00:40:25,382 --> 00:40:29,678 Happy birthday to you 394 00:40:29,761 --> 00:40:30,762 Uh, sorry. 395 00:40:31,847 --> 00:40:33,098 It's Ray. Hello? 396 00:40:34,891 --> 00:40:35,892 Yeah, sure. No problem. 397 00:40:39,604 --> 00:40:41,064 Uh, yeah, sorry. One second. 398 00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,238 Ready. 399 00:40:50,824 --> 00:40:52,117 Yep. 400 00:40:56,288 --> 00:40:57,539 All right, I'll see you in about an hour then. 401 00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:04,004 Sorry about that. 402 00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:09,384 Oh, yeah. 403 00:41:11,219 --> 00:41:12,220 - Hmm. - Right. 404 00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:17,517 Everything okay? 405 00:41:19,394 --> 00:41:20,395 So, um... 406 00:41:21,188 --> 00:41:23,356 when are we gonna get to meet this Ray of yours, then? 407 00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,108 You have, haven't you? 408 00:41:25,192 --> 00:41:28,570 For half a second in the dark three months ago. 409 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:33,408 Your mum used to parade me around town like a prize cow. 410 00:41:34,451 --> 00:41:36,369 We're not that embarrassing, are we? 411 00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:39,247 - No, no, you're not. - Right. 412 00:41:39,331 --> 00:41:41,333 Well, let's get a date in the diary. 413 00:41:41,416 --> 00:41:43,043 Sooner rather than later. 414 00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,841 Having something nice for dinner? 415 00:41:49,925 --> 00:41:51,760 Yeah, potato dauphinoise. 416 00:41:51,843 --> 00:41:53,470 Ah, fancy. 417 00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:55,055 Is Ray a good cook, then? 418 00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:57,557 Oh, no, I'm cooking. Ray... Ray doesn't cook. 419 00:41:59,601 --> 00:42:01,520 Right, so he's making you buy 420 00:42:01,603 --> 00:42:03,522 and cook your own birthday dinner? 421 00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,815 Yeah. I mean, I... I don't mind. So, it's-- 422 00:42:05,899 --> 00:42:07,859 Yeah, but it's your birthday, Colin. 423 00:42:08,527 --> 00:42:10,403 You should be spoilt rotten. If Ray can't cook, 424 00:42:10,487 --> 00:42:12,697 he could at least take you out somewhere nice. 425 00:42:12,781 --> 00:42:13,740 Some... 426 00:43:07,669 --> 00:43:08,670 Do you wanna say something? 427 00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:13,049 No. 428 00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:16,636 You sure? 429 00:43:17,679 --> 00:43:18,763 Yeah. 430 00:43:19,764 --> 00:43:20,765 Yeah. 431 00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:28,023 Well, actually there is... there is something. 432 00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,525 Um, I was, uh... 433 00:43:30,609 --> 00:43:34,195 wondering if maybe you might wanna come have dinner 434 00:43:34,279 --> 00:43:35,822 with my parents some time? 435 00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:43,663 Uh, dinner with your parents? 436 00:43:43,747 --> 00:43:44,748 Yeah. 437 00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:50,211 And you'd like that? 438 00:43:50,295 --> 00:43:53,506 Yeah. Nah, I mean, you know, they would. 439 00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:56,259 Yeah... 440 00:43:58,303 --> 00:44:00,138 Yeah, I don't think that's a very good idea. 441 00:44:04,684 --> 00:44:05,644 Okay. 442 00:44:12,567 --> 00:44:13,902 - Nope. - Sorry. 443 00:44:22,285 --> 00:44:24,120 Could you, uh, maybe be persuaded? 444 00:44:24,204 --> 00:44:25,664 You know, could it... 445 00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:27,207 could it be like, um, 446 00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:29,584 a birthday present, maybe? 447 00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:31,878 I hope you're not expecting a birthday present, Colin. 448 00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:34,964 No, no, I'm not. It's... it's just... Mum, 449 00:44:35,048 --> 00:44:36,675 she wants to meet you properly. 450 00:44:36,758 --> 00:44:37,759 And, um... 451 00:44:42,222 --> 00:44:44,057 She's quite ill, you know, she's, uh... 452 00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:46,226 She's dying, actually. 453 00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:47,811 But I don't wanna force you to... 454 00:44:47,894 --> 00:44:49,270 - No? - No. 455 00:44:50,105 --> 00:44:53,316 Okay, well, it sounds like that is exactly 456 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,734 what you're trying to do here. 457 00:44:54,818 --> 00:44:56,736 - No, I'm not. - You are. You are. 458 00:44:58,321 --> 00:45:00,156 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. 459 00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:04,911 Oh, you couldn't upset me if you tried. 460 00:45:09,874 --> 00:45:11,876 You seem pretty upset, so... 461 00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:15,380 So... what? 462 00:46:52,227 --> 00:46:53,436 No way! 463 00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:54,729 Fucking sing, Steve! 464 00:46:54,813 --> 00:46:57,106 For he's a jolly good fellow 465 00:46:57,190 --> 00:47:00,026 For he's a jolly good fellow 466 00:47:00,109 --> 00:47:02,237 And so say all of us 467 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:04,322 Blow out the candle, birthday boy! 468 00:47:04,405 --> 00:47:06,324 And so say all of us 469 00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:08,785 And so say all of us 470 00:48:27,864 --> 00:48:29,407 Last one in buys a round of drinks! 471 00:48:35,288 --> 00:48:36,289 Fuck me! 472 00:48:36,372 --> 00:48:37,874 Ah! Fuck! 473 00:48:50,136 --> 00:48:52,180 I'll bring him up. Get that net under him. 474 00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:53,723 Go on... 475 00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:54,933 Hey! 476 00:48:55,016 --> 00:48:56,601 - Hey, hey, hey! - Colin! What you got? 477 00:49:00,772 --> 00:49:03,232 Grab his arm... come on! 478 00:49:04,567 --> 00:49:05,860 Keep your... push him! 479 00:49:05,944 --> 00:49:07,946 I'm trying, Ray! 480 00:49:11,616 --> 00:49:13,993 Sorry. I'm sorry, actually... 481 00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:18,998 Steve! 482 00:49:19,082 --> 00:49:20,291 Can I borrow Kevin? 483 00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:22,585 You can have Colin. 484 00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:25,171 Fine! 485 00:49:29,217 --> 00:49:31,094 Oh, dear, Colin, you've been subbed out, mate. 486 00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:36,391 - Come on, Kevin! - Here he comes. 487 00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:39,644 Oh, yeah! 488 00:49:41,521 --> 00:49:42,522 Champion. 489 00:49:43,064 --> 00:49:44,440 Bye, Colin! 490 00:49:44,524 --> 00:49:45,858 All right, bitches. Come on. 491 00:49:45,942 --> 00:49:47,360 Let's do it. Woo! 492 00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:50,154 Stop pouting, Colin! 493 00:49:53,116 --> 00:49:55,535 Come on! Yeah! 494 00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:58,413 Come on! Come on! 495 00:49:59,580 --> 00:50:01,582 Pull him. Ah! 496 00:50:03,042 --> 00:50:07,505 - Oh, yes! Yes! Nice one! - Woo! 497 00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:08,840 Yeah! 498 00:50:10,091 --> 00:50:11,092 Woo! 499 00:50:12,969 --> 00:50:13,970 Who's next? 500 00:50:23,646 --> 00:50:24,647 Oh, yeah. 501 00:50:26,024 --> 00:50:28,276 Right, I need time out. Time out, time out, time out... 502 00:50:40,705 --> 00:50:42,415 So, how's it going with you and Ray? 503 00:50:43,332 --> 00:50:44,333 It's, um... 504 00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:47,420 It's going good. Yes, it's great. 505 00:50:47,503 --> 00:50:49,547 - Mm-hmm? - Mm. 506 00:50:49,630 --> 00:50:51,382 You guys look really good together. 507 00:50:53,593 --> 00:50:55,011 - Thank you. - No, I mean it. 508 00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:58,890 He really is impossibly handsome. 509 00:50:58,973 --> 00:51:01,350 You, sort of... 510 00:51:02,185 --> 00:51:03,728 bring his qualities into relief. 511 00:51:05,605 --> 00:51:06,981 Do you two never kiss? 512 00:51:07,607 --> 00:51:08,608 No. 513 00:51:11,611 --> 00:51:12,904 - Don't you miss it? - No. 514 00:51:17,575 --> 00:51:18,868 I couldn't put up with no kissing. 515 00:51:20,036 --> 00:51:21,162 Would drive me nuts. 516 00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:10,461 Nice bike, mate! 517 00:52:11,712 --> 00:52:12,713 Come on, then. 518 00:52:13,881 --> 00:52:15,883 Hey, all right. 519 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:56,460 On your back. 520 00:56:45,194 --> 00:56:46,946 Happy birthday, Colin. 521 00:58:08,319 --> 00:58:10,696 Hope you're not keeping your hair like that 522 00:58:10,779 --> 00:58:12,114 to make me feel better, 523 00:58:12,198 --> 00:58:13,699 because it doesn't. 524 00:58:15,075 --> 00:58:16,994 Your hair was your best feature. 525 00:58:17,953 --> 00:58:19,872 Well, Ray likes it like this. 526 00:58:19,955 --> 00:58:22,541 Right. So, um, is Ray a hairdresser? 527 00:58:23,292 --> 00:58:24,960 I don't know. 528 00:58:25,044 --> 00:58:26,045 I told you, he's discreet. 529 00:58:26,128 --> 00:58:27,838 Yeah. But what does that actually mean? 530 00:58:27,922 --> 00:58:30,549 It just means, Mum, don't ask personal questions. 531 00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:36,347 Right, that's enough. Come on. 532 00:58:40,559 --> 00:58:42,311 Cheers, everyone. Thanks for coming, boys. 533 00:58:42,895 --> 00:58:44,313 - Cheers. - Cheers. 534 00:58:44,396 --> 00:58:45,814 - Cheers. - Cheers, cheers. 535 00:58:49,401 --> 00:58:50,402 Tuck in. 536 00:58:52,238 --> 00:58:53,239 Oh, um... 537 00:58:57,868 --> 00:58:59,328 British summer we're having. 538 00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:01,580 Remember South Africa? 539 00:59:01,664 --> 00:59:04,041 - Mmm-hmm. - Our honeymoon. 540 00:59:04,667 --> 00:59:06,001 Amazing place, though. 541 00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:08,504 Have you... Do you mi... Am I allow... 542 00:59:08,587 --> 00:59:09,880 Can I ask, have you ever been? 543 00:59:10,714 --> 00:59:12,675 - No. - Oh. 544 00:59:13,551 --> 00:59:14,927 Amazing place. 545 00:59:16,220 --> 00:59:18,305 Yeah, my... my doctor's advised me 546 00:59:18,389 --> 00:59:19,974 to wear these socks. 547 00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:21,767 You know, he says they'll make a real difference. 548 00:59:21,850 --> 00:59:23,060 I mean, have you tried them? 549 00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:25,020 - Compression socks? - Yeah. 550 00:59:25,104 --> 00:59:26,397 - Uh, no. - They... 551 00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:28,774 hold you apparently and stop you... anyway, 552 00:59:28,857 --> 00:59:29,858 - don't know whether it works. - Do you... 553 00:59:29,942 --> 00:59:31,694 Do you fly a lot, Ray? 554 00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:32,945 Not really. 555 00:59:37,950 --> 00:59:40,160 Mm, this gravy is incredible. 556 00:59:41,203 --> 00:59:42,663 Best gravy in Bromley. 557 00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:44,164 What's your secret? 558 00:59:44,248 --> 00:59:45,666 If you don't mind. 559 00:59:46,292 --> 00:59:47,293 Uh, oh. 560 00:59:47,376 --> 00:59:51,255 No. Um, well, I, um... 561 00:59:51,338 --> 00:59:53,090 I, uh, put the chicken on a rack 562 00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:55,843 so that all of the juices... 563 01:00:00,973 --> 01:00:02,057 Sorry. 564 01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:07,646 Um, I, um, put the chicken on a rack and, um... 565 01:00:10,441 --> 01:00:13,193 let the juices from the chicken go onto the veg. 566 01:00:13,277 --> 01:00:14,528 And then once the chicken's done, 567 01:00:14,612 --> 01:00:16,488 I'll remove it, and then into those veg 568 01:00:16,572 --> 01:00:17,990 with all the chicken juices, 569 01:00:18,741 --> 01:00:22,453 I add a little bit of flour and a dash of hot sauce. 570 01:00:24,204 --> 01:00:26,332 - Hot sauce, huh? - Yeah. 571 01:00:27,708 --> 01:00:29,460 Colin makes a good gravy. 572 01:00:29,543 --> 01:00:30,878 Mm. 573 01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:32,504 Colin makes a pretty good omelet, 574 01:00:32,588 --> 01:00:33,547 but that's about it. 575 01:00:41,722 --> 01:00:42,806 What's up with you? 576 01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:46,310 What's... up with me? 577 01:00:46,393 --> 01:00:47,895 - Yeah, what's up with you? - Mum, let's... 578 01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:48,979 Let's talk about something else. 579 01:00:49,063 --> 01:00:50,230 Yeah, I agree. I think we can... 580 01:00:50,314 --> 01:00:51,357 We can talk about... 581 01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:52,441 What? No, no, no, no, no. 582 01:00:52,524 --> 01:00:53,525 Can we change the... 583 01:00:53,609 --> 01:00:54,610 'Cause, you know, Ray, 'cause I'm not one to judge. 584 01:00:54,693 --> 01:00:55,903 I'm just interested. 585 01:00:56,445 --> 01:00:57,655 What's your secret? 586 01:00:58,238 --> 01:01:00,366 Have... have you got another life? 587 01:01:00,449 --> 01:01:03,577 Have you got... have you got a husband somewhere? 588 01:01:03,661 --> 01:01:06,163 - Peggy... - Or a... a wife? 589 01:01:06,246 --> 01:01:08,415 Is... Is that what discreet actually means? 590 01:01:08,499 --> 01:01:09,500 Does it just mean that 591 01:01:09,583 --> 01:01:11,794 you've got two wives and ten kids? 592 01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:13,545 You don't have to say. All right? 593 01:01:14,713 --> 01:01:16,298 Thank you. I'll keep that in mind. 594 01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:19,426 I'm sorry. 595 01:01:23,347 --> 01:01:25,933 I'm not sure I like the way you talk to my son. 596 01:01:27,226 --> 01:01:28,394 Well, that is fine. 597 01:01:29,561 --> 01:01:31,063 It's not for you to like. 598 01:01:32,481 --> 01:01:33,482 Excuse me? 599 01:01:39,488 --> 01:01:41,323 I can see that I make you uncomfortable. 600 01:01:43,701 --> 01:01:46,370 That... our relationship makes you uncomfortable. 601 01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:53,252 But deciding that what makes you uncomfortable 602 01:01:53,335 --> 01:01:55,170 is bad for your son... 603 01:01:58,257 --> 01:01:59,925 Honestly, that's a... 604 01:02:00,008 --> 01:02:01,552 pretty backwards way of thinking. 605 01:02:02,511 --> 01:02:03,679 I beg your pardon? 606 01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:06,140 I'm just saying you sound a little ignorant. 607 01:02:07,141 --> 01:02:09,560 Well, you sound like a cunt. 608 01:02:09,643 --> 01:02:12,146 - Mum! - No, I'm sorry, Col. 609 01:02:12,855 --> 01:02:15,065 I'd like to know, before I die, 610 01:02:15,149 --> 01:02:18,736 I'd like to know if my son is going out with a nutjob. 611 01:02:18,819 --> 01:02:20,237 Is that too much to ask? 612 01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:21,488 Let's talk about something else. 613 01:02:21,572 --> 01:02:23,574 Colin, you don't know who he is. 614 01:02:23,657 --> 01:02:24,867 You don't know what he does. 615 01:02:24,950 --> 01:02:26,785 You don't know if he's a hairdresser 616 01:02:26,869 --> 01:02:28,412 or a serial killer. 617 01:02:28,495 --> 01:02:30,247 He could be on the run! 618 01:02:30,330 --> 01:02:32,040 Well, he's too good-looking to be on the run. 619 01:02:32,124 --> 01:02:33,834 He... he'd turn too many heads. 620 01:02:33,917 --> 01:02:35,294 He wouldn't get away with it. 621 01:02:35,377 --> 01:02:38,005 Well... he... he is very good-looking. 622 01:02:38,088 --> 01:02:39,047 He's a creep! 623 01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:42,551 Our son is going out with a good-looking creep, 624 01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:43,635 - and you... - Now then, stop it. 625 01:02:43,719 --> 01:02:45,179 - ...you're encouraging him. - You don't... 626 01:03:04,406 --> 01:03:06,033 Well... 627 01:03:06,825 --> 01:03:07,993 Colin... 628 01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:11,413 Colin, come on, don't... don't be like that. Colin! 629 01:03:27,387 --> 01:03:30,307 "Roses are red, violets are blue 630 01:03:30,891 --> 01:03:33,894 "Each day at your heel brings me closer to you 631 01:03:37,606 --> 01:03:40,567 "Your hand on the throttle your leather so tight 632 01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,779 "I crave your command from morning to night" 633 01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:52,162 "Your grip is a promise your gaze a hot flame 634 01:03:52,955 --> 01:03:55,874 "Next to you I am nothing but I'm yours all the same" 635 01:03:57,626 --> 01:03:58,627 Open wide, baby. 636 01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:06,260 Ooh! 637 01:04:07,594 --> 01:04:11,098 "The pleasure you give the pain that you bring 638 01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:14,977 "I'll take it all, Ray for you are my king" 639 01:04:33,495 --> 01:04:35,163 In the village of Great Dunmow, 640 01:04:36,081 --> 01:04:38,041 there's a side of bacon 641 01:04:38,959 --> 01:04:40,627 given every year to the couple 642 01:04:40,711 --> 01:04:42,296 who haven't had a single quarrel. 643 01:04:44,715 --> 01:04:48,427 Well, me and Peggy could've won that bacon every year. 644 01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:51,305 We had every possible qualification. 645 01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,766 Apart from not living in Great Dunmow. 646 01:04:57,519 --> 01:04:58,520 Um... 647 01:04:59,563 --> 01:05:04,693 As we gather, uh, today to say goodbye to Peggy... 648 01:05:06,987 --> 01:05:10,073 ...let's not... let's not focus on the sadness. 649 01:05:10,866 --> 01:05:12,034 Let's, um... 650 01:05:12,784 --> 01:05:15,704 Let's celebrate a lovely life. 651 01:05:24,755 --> 01:05:25,797 Sorry. 652 01:06:23,981 --> 01:06:25,065 So, uh... 653 01:06:27,609 --> 01:06:28,694 how was it? 654 01:06:29,277 --> 01:06:30,320 It was good. 655 01:06:33,156 --> 01:06:34,741 It was a good turnout. 656 01:06:34,825 --> 01:06:35,909 Oh, nice. 657 01:07:27,252 --> 01:07:28,795 - Fuck! - Colin? 658 01:07:36,511 --> 01:07:38,346 - Lemme see your hands. - I'm fine. 659 01:07:38,430 --> 01:07:40,682 - Come closer. - It's fine. 660 01:07:41,641 --> 01:07:42,976 Okay, we need to... 661 01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:46,396 ...get some cold water on them, okay? 662 01:07:52,819 --> 01:07:54,571 It's gonna sting a little. 663 01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:02,621 Fuck! 664 01:08:09,461 --> 01:08:11,171 Try to hold your hands under the water. 665 01:08:45,872 --> 01:08:46,873 Thank you. 666 01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:00,387 Mm. 667 01:09:12,274 --> 01:09:15,026 Hey, um, do you wanna hear a pizza joke? 668 01:09:20,991 --> 01:09:22,576 Nah, it's too cheesy. 669 01:09:30,667 --> 01:09:32,502 Are you gonna eat or do you want me to keep going? 670 01:09:32,586 --> 01:09:33,920 'Cause I've got plenty of pizza jokes here. 671 01:09:34,004 --> 01:09:36,006 - I'm gonna start eating. - I can go all night, baby. 672 01:09:49,144 --> 01:09:50,395 Sleep in the bed. 673 01:09:53,481 --> 01:09:56,151 It's fine, I'm... feeling much better now. 674 01:09:58,445 --> 01:09:59,613 It wasn't a question. 675 01:10:40,111 --> 01:10:41,863 You know I love you, right? 676 01:10:46,868 --> 01:10:47,911 Yeah. 677 01:10:49,287 --> 01:10:50,288 But what... 678 01:10:51,790 --> 01:10:53,375 That's not what this is, Colin. 679 01:10:55,377 --> 01:10:56,461 That's not the point. 680 01:10:59,089 --> 01:11:02,175 Isn't love the whole point? 681 01:11:03,385 --> 01:11:04,469 Of what? 682 01:11:07,222 --> 01:11:08,223 Everything. 683 01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,001 Um... 684 01:13:42,627 --> 01:13:43,837 Could I ask you something? 685 01:13:46,172 --> 01:13:48,091 - Mm-hmm. - Uh, it's... 686 01:13:49,384 --> 01:13:53,304 I've been thinking... and, uh... you really, look, 687 01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:55,056 you don't have to say yes, I know it was a... 688 01:13:55,682 --> 01:13:57,434 it was a sort of one-off thing. 689 01:13:58,184 --> 01:13:59,185 But, um... 690 01:14:00,145 --> 01:14:01,855 I was wondering if maybe I could... 691 01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:04,441 sleep in your bed a bit more often? 692 01:14:07,819 --> 01:14:10,155 Not... not all the time, obviously. Um... 693 01:14:11,406 --> 01:14:12,407 But maybe... 694 01:14:14,367 --> 01:14:15,910 once a week? 695 01:14:20,165 --> 01:14:21,332 In fact, maybe, um... 696 01:14:23,960 --> 01:14:26,087 once a week, we could sort of have a... 697 01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:28,298 a day off? 698 01:14:29,966 --> 01:14:31,259 Hmm? 699 01:14:31,342 --> 01:14:35,221 You know, a day where we wake up in bed together, 700 01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:38,433 eat breakfast at the table. 701 01:14:39,267 --> 01:14:40,268 Um... 702 01:14:42,187 --> 01:14:43,605 I don't know... 703 01:14:43,688 --> 01:14:45,899 ...play a duet on the piano, that sort of thing. 704 01:14:49,611 --> 01:14:50,904 Not every day, I really... 705 01:14:52,113 --> 01:14:53,448 Ooh, I wouldn't want that. But... 706 01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:58,453 once a week, it could be nice. It could be fun. 707 01:14:58,536 --> 01:14:59,621 For both of us. 708 01:15:03,583 --> 01:15:04,584 No. 709 01:15:09,714 --> 01:15:10,757 No? 710 01:15:11,424 --> 01:15:12,425 No. 711 01:15:19,390 --> 01:15:20,475 Fair enough. 712 01:15:23,102 --> 01:15:25,188 - How about once a month, then? - No. 713 01:15:25,271 --> 01:15:26,272 No? 714 01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:33,613 Have a think. 715 01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:37,951 - Excuse me? - Just have a think about it. 716 01:15:39,702 --> 01:15:42,413 - Colin, if you're not happy... - No, I am happy. 717 01:15:42,497 --> 01:15:44,040 Ray, I'm really happy. 718 01:15:47,502 --> 01:15:49,837 I could just maybe be a bit happier, that's all. 719 01:16:20,535 --> 01:16:21,536 Time for bed. 720 01:16:22,203 --> 01:16:24,372 I'm gonna stay up, finish this chapter. 721 01:18:13,314 --> 01:18:15,108 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 722 01:18:15,983 --> 01:18:17,485 Out. 723 01:19:08,619 --> 01:19:10,538 Fuck! 724 01:19:12,665 --> 01:19:14,041 Take off my T-shirt. 725 01:19:15,251 --> 01:19:16,085 Stop scowling. 726 01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:18,171 Take it off. 727 01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:19,255 Raymond... 728 01:19:20,506 --> 01:19:23,509 You look very small-mouthed and old. 729 01:19:25,970 --> 01:19:27,013 What'd you say? 730 01:19:27,096 --> 01:19:29,265 I think you may have heard me. Raymond, please... 731 01:19:29,348 --> 01:19:30,558 - Huh? - Raymond... 732 01:19:32,435 --> 01:19:33,436 Get out! 733 01:19:34,937 --> 01:19:36,314 - Go! - Huh! 734 01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:39,442 Ray! Raymond! 735 01:19:42,361 --> 01:19:44,155 Fancy a wrestle? 736 01:19:44,238 --> 01:19:45,239 Huh? 737 01:19:45,323 --> 01:19:47,450 Fancy a wrestle? 738 01:19:48,618 --> 01:19:50,369 - Do you give? - Stop! 739 01:19:50,453 --> 01:19:51,621 Do you? 740 01:20:06,344 --> 01:20:08,471 Da-da-da... 741 01:20:37,959 --> 01:20:38,960 Colin! 742 01:20:43,256 --> 01:20:44,257 Hey! 743 01:21:09,866 --> 01:21:11,284 Wanker! 744 01:22:44,835 --> 01:22:45,836 Come on. 745 01:22:57,682 --> 01:22:58,766 Have a seat. 746 01:23:02,812 --> 01:23:03,813 Um... 747 01:23:05,356 --> 01:23:06,565 What's... What's this? 748 01:23:06,649 --> 01:23:07,900 Breakfast. 749 01:23:21,372 --> 01:23:22,623 I don't understand. 750 01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:27,169 I thought we could try a day off. 751 01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:37,346 Mm. 752 01:23:38,889 --> 01:23:39,890 So, um... 753 01:23:42,226 --> 01:23:43,477 what would you like to do? 754 01:23:45,896 --> 01:23:46,981 What, today? 755 01:23:49,150 --> 01:23:51,444 Um, what do you wanna do? 756 01:23:52,445 --> 01:23:54,321 No, no, no. 757 01:23:54,864 --> 01:23:56,449 You decide. It's your day off. 758 01:23:59,660 --> 01:24:02,663 Um, well. It, uh... 759 01:24:03,789 --> 01:24:07,543 Yeah, it looks like a nice enough day. We could... 760 01:24:08,794 --> 01:24:11,547 maybe go for a bike somewhere? Maybe? 761 01:24:13,132 --> 01:24:14,341 No biking today. 762 01:24:21,098 --> 01:24:22,641 But I'll pay for this later? 763 01:24:25,061 --> 01:24:26,228 No. 764 01:24:46,916 --> 01:24:47,917 Um... 765 01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:51,337 Do you like, uh... 766 01:24:53,089 --> 01:24:54,131 Thai food? 767 01:24:54,799 --> 01:24:56,509 Uh, sure. Yeah. 768 01:24:57,134 --> 01:24:58,427 'Cause there's, apparently, 769 01:24:58,511 --> 01:25:02,348 there's quite a nice place nearby. 770 01:25:02,431 --> 01:25:03,432 Okay. 771 01:25:10,898 --> 01:25:12,066 Well, this was fun. 772 01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:17,947 What do you wanna do next? 773 01:25:19,448 --> 01:25:21,242 I... dunno. 774 01:25:25,579 --> 01:25:27,540 I'm sorry about the weather, really... 775 01:25:31,335 --> 01:25:32,461 Sing something for me. 776 01:25:36,841 --> 01:25:37,800 - What, here? - Or actually, 777 01:25:38,634 --> 01:25:39,593 teach me how to sing. 778 01:25:43,681 --> 01:25:44,682 Are you serious? 779 01:25:44,765 --> 01:25:45,766 I'm very serious. 780 01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:51,313 Okay. 781 01:25:52,773 --> 01:25:55,568 Da, da, da, da 782 01:25:55,651 --> 01:26:00,156 Da, da, da, da, da, da Da, da, da, da, da 783 01:26:01,991 --> 01:26:02,992 Da... 784 01:26:04,076 --> 01:26:06,745 Da, da, da, da 785 01:26:06,829 --> 01:26:12,918 Da, da, da, da, da Da, da, da, da, da, da 786 01:26:16,881 --> 01:26:18,048 Are you laughing? 787 01:26:18,132 --> 01:26:19,633 No, it's good! You're very good! 788 01:26:19,717 --> 01:26:21,093 You think you're better than me? 789 01:26:21,177 --> 01:26:22,636 - I didn't say that. - Is that what it is? 790 01:26:24,013 --> 01:26:26,223 Wow. Wow, that hurt. 791 01:26:27,099 --> 01:26:28,642 Uh, you know what? 792 01:26:29,810 --> 01:26:30,895 - What are you doing? - Wait. 793 01:26:32,313 --> 01:26:33,731 Ladies, pardon me... 794 01:26:35,024 --> 01:26:36,025 Come on. 795 01:26:44,491 --> 01:26:45,492 Go ahead. 796 01:26:45,576 --> 01:26:46,911 Um... 797 01:26:47,494 --> 01:26:48,495 Sorry. 798 01:26:48,579 --> 01:26:49,914 Sorry. 799 01:26:52,082 --> 01:26:55,878 Da, da, da, da 800 01:26:55,961 --> 01:27:00,716 Da, da, da, da, da Da, da, da, da, da, da 801 01:27:01,300 --> 01:27:03,344 - It's lovely. - Yeah. 802 01:27:07,932 --> 01:27:11,143 Da, da, da, da 803 01:27:11,227 --> 01:27:14,730 Da, da, da, da Da, da, da... 804 01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:19,318 Y... Yes. Yes. 805 01:27:19,401 --> 01:27:21,654 You liked both, I can tell. 806 01:27:21,737 --> 01:27:22,947 Which one do you prefer? 807 01:27:23,030 --> 01:27:24,406 Well, him! 808 01:27:24,490 --> 01:27:26,283 - Him? - Yeah. 809 01:27:26,367 --> 01:27:27,493 Are you serious? 810 01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:29,703 Unbelievable! 811 01:27:29,787 --> 01:27:30,871 I'm sorry about him. 812 01:27:30,955 --> 01:27:31,956 He's... 813 01:27:32,039 --> 01:27:33,540 You've paid off these two fine ladies? 814 01:27:33,624 --> 01:27:34,708 I've never met these ladies, Ray. 815 01:27:34,792 --> 01:27:35,793 Wow. 816 01:27:35,876 --> 01:27:37,002 All right. 817 01:27:37,086 --> 01:27:38,295 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 818 01:27:38,379 --> 01:27:39,672 You're cocky now, huh? 819 01:28:56,582 --> 01:28:59,585 - Excuse me! - Oi, dickheads! 820 01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:01,295 You gonna clean those seats? 821 01:29:01,378 --> 01:29:02,379 Mind the popcorn! 822 01:29:02,463 --> 01:29:04,381 - Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop! - Pop-ah! 823 01:29:53,097 --> 01:29:54,098 Not gonna make it! 824 01:29:56,141 --> 01:29:57,351 Go on without me... 825 01:30:00,771 --> 01:30:02,147 Go! I'm done. 826 01:30:06,610 --> 01:30:07,778 Come on! 827 01:30:07,861 --> 01:30:08,862 Come on! 828 01:30:08,946 --> 01:30:10,406 - No. - Up you get! 829 01:30:10,489 --> 01:30:11,740 - No, I'm done. - No, you're not. 830 01:30:11,824 --> 01:30:14,201 I'm done. Leave me! 831 01:30:14,284 --> 01:30:15,285 Leave me... 832 01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:30,259 Yes! Yes! 833 01:33:21,972 --> 01:33:22,973 Ray! 834 01:33:26,351 --> 01:33:27,644 Are you in there? Ray... 835 01:33:47,831 --> 01:33:49,333 Still nothing? 836 01:33:53,420 --> 01:33:54,421 All right? 837 01:33:56,006 --> 01:33:57,007 All right, guys? 838 01:33:57,966 --> 01:33:59,051 How you doing? 839 01:34:10,270 --> 01:34:12,105 He can't have just disappeared off the Earth. 840 01:34:12,189 --> 01:34:13,857 Ray does his own thing. 841 01:34:13,940 --> 01:34:14,941 You know what, it's fine. 842 01:34:15,025 --> 01:34:16,318 - Forget it, forget it. - Colin! 843 01:34:36,171 --> 01:34:38,006 Let's knock it on the head for today, shall we? 844 01:34:40,467 --> 01:34:41,468 Yeah. 845 01:34:43,637 --> 01:34:46,181 We can look somewhere else next weekend. Okay? 846 01:34:50,310 --> 01:34:51,311 Or not. 847 01:34:53,188 --> 01:34:54,189 Up to you. 848 01:36:57,854 --> 01:36:58,939 About me... 849 01:37:04,945 --> 01:37:09,366 I've been told I have an aptitude for devotion. 850 01:37:10,951 --> 01:37:13,954 I'm obedient, hard-working, 851 01:37:14,037 --> 01:37:16,373 and excellent at following instructions. 852 01:37:17,290 --> 01:37:20,669 I'm low maintenance, have a high pain threshold, 853 01:37:20,752 --> 01:37:22,879 and rarely fail to please. 854 01:37:22,963 --> 01:37:24,464 But I'm also very modest, 855 01:37:24,548 --> 01:37:26,132 so this is the only time that 856 01:37:26,216 --> 01:37:28,301 you'll hear me sing my own praises. 857 01:37:28,385 --> 01:37:29,511 Unless you ask. 858 01:37:31,763 --> 01:37:33,515 I won't cut my hair for no one. 859 01:37:33,598 --> 01:37:35,517 And I do require one day off a week. 860 01:37:35,600 --> 01:37:36,977 That's not up for debate. 861 01:37:38,520 --> 01:37:41,898 The rest of the time, your wish is my command. 862 01:37:47,946 --> 01:37:48,905 Nice. 863 01:37:50,156 --> 01:37:55,745 When your world is turned around 864 01:37:55,829 --> 01:37:59,207 Why not smile? 865 01:37:59,291 --> 01:38:06,047 Don't wear a frown, smile 866 01:38:06,131 --> 01:38:09,134 Though your heart is aching 867 01:38:09,217 --> 01:38:11,303 Smile 868 01:38:11,386 --> 01:38:14,431 Even though it's breaking 869 01:38:14,514 --> 01:38:19,978 When there are clouds in the sky 870 01:38:20,061 --> 01:38:24,774 You'll get by if you smile 871 01:38:24,858 --> 01:38:27,903 Through your fear and sorrow 872 01:38:27,986 --> 01:38:29,738 Smile 873 01:38:29,821 --> 01:38:33,199 And maybe tomorrow 874 01:38:33,283 --> 01:38:38,580 You'll see the sun come shining through 875 01:38:38,663 --> 01:38:43,293 For you 876 01:38:43,376 --> 01:38:45,170 Mate! Make some space! 877 01:39:03,521 --> 01:39:04,522 Darren? 878 01:39:06,107 --> 01:39:07,108 It's Colin. 879 01:39:09,945 --> 01:39:10,946 You're early. 880 01:39:13,490 --> 01:39:14,658 Yeah, sorry. 881 01:39:17,827 --> 01:39:21,998 Light up your face with gladness 882 01:39:22,082 --> 01:39:26,044 Hide every trace of sadness 883 01:39:27,170 --> 01:39:29,422 Although a tear 884 01:39:29,506 --> 01:39:33,593 May be ever so near 885 01:39:33,677 --> 01:39:37,639 That's the time you must keep on trying 886 01:39:37,722 --> 01:39:40,892 Smile, what's the use of crying? 887 01:39:42,185 --> 01:39:47,273 You'll find that life is still worthwhile 888 01:39:47,357 --> 01:39:52,195 If you just smile 889 01:39:52,278 --> 01:39:54,072 You must keep on trying 890 01:39:54,155 --> 01:39:58,118 Smile, what's the use of crying? 891 01:39:59,953 --> 01:40:02,288 You'll find that life... 892 01:40:02,372 --> 01:40:03,373 Can you cook? 893 01:40:04,040 --> 01:40:05,250 Yeah. Yeah, I can cook. 894 01:40:07,377 --> 01:40:08,420 What do you fancy? 895 01:40:08,503 --> 01:40:13,550 A smile is still worthwhile 896 01:40:13,633 --> 01:40:15,927 Don your 897 01:40:16,011 --> 01:40:19,556 Smile